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I am a sinner. My sin was that I loved my wife, I wanted my wife to die, I couldn’t let her go from me, I couldn’t live without her, I lived in her parent’s house, and that I let her fall into the cult because I was too busy with work. I had the realization that there was nothing but tragedy and sadness after love. I cannot stop trembling, thinking that my wife could not come to me again and it was useless waiting for her, and only the sadness that I could not endure rushes like a wave into my mind.  
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There were no response to what I was crying out, appealing, and praying to 
the truth. It was the time that, a pain, like a sharpen knife came into my 
heart, never disappearing but rather repeating over and over again. I had been 
crazy and angry because of the Shinchonji cult. I was a mess that who others 
around me could not recognize. There was even a time that I blamed God, who 
created the universe and exists in our deep life, why HE could not protect my 
family from Satan, which I thought was unfair. I poured out ill-speaking of 
myself for my ruined life: I had nothing to lose, I was blind and deaf, my life 
wasn’t normal, and I blamed myself for even inhaling oxygen in the air. 
 
The indoctrination of the cult is ten times stronger than intoxication of any 
other drug and or communist system. They can be controlled by law and there are 
hospitals for drug abusers. But, there are no hospitals for those brainwashed by 
the cult, rather Korean law protects the cult under the law of freedom of 
religion. Shinchonji is not a religion, it destroys families. Attending the cult 
results in members running away from home, dropping out of school, suing family 
members, neglecting loved ones, giving up on their lives, and committing 
suicide. 
How can Shinchonji claim that 144,000 members will allow the chief priest to 
return, for new heaven to emerge in East Korea, for them to rule the world? The 
promise of “new heaven and new earth will be accomplished in three years” has 
existed for nearly 30 years. 
 
I finally met Jesus Christ after anguish and sadness while I have been 
standing at the end of my life. Now I am praying for forgiveness. I am a sinner. 
I am still trying to get out of the remnants of the tragedy. I have been healing 
through prayer, repentance and forgiveness based on the Word of God. Even in the 
cold winter and in the hot summer of prison, I endure the punishment that I 
deserve. 
I don’t think that I am old; I am not too week to heal. Even though I still 
have the sad past in my mind, I don’t think it is God’s will that I remain 
frustrated, clinging to the past. I will put hope and faith in God’s work 
because I realized the truth. 
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